Being a teacher is just a job for me. It's not my career, or passion. I never want to deal with parents or make lesson plans. But for now it pays the bills, and having nap time built in is a huge bonus.
There is a set of twins who I love, but really test the teachers. They've just turned three and are terrors to the max. My boss has had to put them in separate classrooms because they're such monsters together. They're loving boys, and quite adorable, but become so obscenely violent it's impossible to be around them. Peri will kick me, bite me, pull my hair, scream at me to go away-- and I'm his favorite. Roman will laugh in a teacher's face until we are so incredibly frustrated we have to walk away before he's physically harmed, then he gets his way.
So where's the line between the job and the involvement in these kids' lives? Am I supposed to love them as much as I do? Or just put up with them until 5pm? The answers clear. I babysit right after work and on weekends. I go to their birthday parties, dance classes, and the park to play, without being payed. It's not about making a reputation for myself, although the parents do love when I show up, but I genuinely enjoy spending time with these children. But when they revolt, and attack, I resort to being just an employee, and confuse the hell out of the kids. When I tell them to go talk to another teacher, or I don't want to be around them because they're hurting me, not only are they hurt, but they don't know if I'm coming back. I'm not parent who will tuck them in no matter what happens. I'm just a teacher. I leave. And sometimes, they won't see me for days. Today I realized how horrible this must be for a kid. I always knew they missed me, but could I be creating deeper issues?
**apologies if this is not coherent, quite fevered**
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